Let me start from the beginning... I went for beta #1 on Wednesday and it was at 53. So, I went for beta #2 yesterday and they called me and said it was 2. It should have been around 300. They also said to come back this AM for another beta to make sure that yesterday's wasn't a mistake or something. I did and it was at 1. So, needless to say, we lost the baby. I cannot believe this is happening to us again!!! We were soo excited and I was soooo hopeful that this pregnancy would be different. Why, God? Why are you doing this to us??? All I have ever wanted in the whole world was to be a mom. Now I have 2 angel babies. This is NOT fair! I feel like such a failure. Failure as a mom, as a wife, as a woman. Don't get me wrong.. My husband has been wonderful throughout all this. If he thought for one second I felt this way it would tear him up inside.. But I just feel like everyone else's wives get pregnant and have babies and his can't. Life is NOT fair!
Ok, pity party is over.
So what's next? Well, we have an appointment to see the RE on Tuesday to discuss what happened, why he thinks it happened and what our next step is. Injectables. Oy! I guess I'll have to suck it up and just do it. If it results in a pregnancy that goes full term, then I am all for it! Third time's a charm, right?
Thanks for reading this far down. Hope everyone has a great day tomorrow. Talk at you all later!
Overdue updates!
5 years ago
5 comments:
OMG I'm so sorry!! Words can't describe my sorrow for you. You are in my prayers sweetie. Your turn is coming. Let me know if you need anything.
I don't know if you remember me, but I was wntrbride05 on the nest. I know how you feel, I had my 2nd m/c in January. It is so hard to understand. I am praying for you and I hope that you get some answers soon. I'm here for you if you need anything.
I'm so sorry sweetie. Major hugs and prayers coming your way. It isn't fair at all. Hopefully you will get the answers you need on Thursday. (((Hugs))) Know that I am thinking about you.
Im so, so sorry Erika. I just hate that you have to go through this and feel the emotions that you are going through. I know that, deep down, you know you arent a failure but I want you to hear it from me, too. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. Your body is just taking longer to create your perfect little baby.
(((hugs)))
I am so, so sorry. I hate that you had to go through this once, much less a second time. I really hope your Dr. can give you some answers/advice that will help you get and stay pg. And please don't blame yourself -- it will happen for you, sweet. And it's certainly not your fault. (((hugs)))
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